Laura Jean's Lenten Reflections

Good Friday

2009-04-10T13:54:00.003-04:00

Two people asked me in church this past week where the name "Maundy Thursday" came from, and I was more than happy to show off some church-nerd knowledge.

(Growing up, I always thought the word "maundy" had something to do with washing, b/c the church services I went to tended to focus on Jesus washing the feet of the disciples. Somewhere early on in ministry, either during divinity school or shortly thereafter, I learned that it came from the Latin "mandatum," meaning "commandment." Depending on who you ask, that commandment refers to either Jesus saying "Do this in remembrance of me" or "Love one another as I have loved you" at the Last Supper.)

One person, however, followed up that question with "Well, what about Good Friday? Did that come from the word "God?" I was unable to find etymological information on Wikipedia, but I think the seeming irony is actually intentional. I wrestle myself with the sense in which we can think of the death of Jesus as good. (Great article by Rita Nakashima Brock in Disciples World here.) But, at the same time, I find Good Friday deeply compelling.

All four gospels spend a lot of chapters on the arrest, trial, and crucifixion of Jesus, and Paul, writing his letters to churches even earlier, talks about how Jesus died "for us."

I'm contemplating the mystery of today by listening to Jesus Christ Superstar: A Resurrection and fasting from noon to 3.

Love and Mystery

2009-03-13T22:57:00.002-04:00

I'm performing my cousin's wedding tomorrow -- this will be the third cousin of mine I've married. (I know, incest and polygamy! Shocking! Actually, I have performed three weddings for my two brothers...) Anyway, this is, I think, my ninth wedding as officiant, and I really like doing them. Every one has its own unique quirks and drama; powerful symbols like this bring out powerful emotions in people, and even the smallest wedding I've done had a lot of logistics involved (which most people are not in a regular habit of dealing with).

One of the things I love about performing marriages is that getting to be the minister means being the "non-anxious presence" that is so important to many pastoral situations -- but nowhere does it seem more important than at a wedding. It's like being at the eye of the storm. But what I really love the most about doing weddings is getting to know a bit about the couple and their relationship, their hopes and dreams for their life together.

One of my central theological convictions is that God is Love, and so each little bit of love in the world actually reveals something about God. In B. and H.'s relationship, I see the way they constantly look out for one another's needs -- and it's a lot like the daily sustaining, often below-the-radar love that God gives us in every day. I also see their unreserved, unabashed, total smitten-ness with one another. They are completely in love, and not afraid to show it! And it's a nice reminder of how God is totally smitten with this crazy world, and the boldness we seek in trying to show our love for God.

How do people come to faith?

2009-03-10T22:18:00.002-04:00

I'm full up of spiritual thoughts and feelings at the moment, having just gotten back from a really cool spiritual formation program I'm participating in at the National Cathedral.

What I took away from the lecture tonight was about how the essence of connecting to God in Christian faith is NOT: doing the "right" religious activities, believing the right things about God, or even treating one's fellow human beings in the right way. All of these are part of the life of faith, but none is adequate as a way to "get to God." Rather, the essence of faith is knowing oneself loved by the reality that is at the heart of the universe. Giving up on trying (and trying and trying) to be good enough and realizing that you are accepted (I think Paul Tillich might have had a few things to say about that).

This all makes good sense to me, but I'm wrestling again with a question that I ponder from time to time. If faith is, essentially, a gift from God (that we can't earn by working at it), why do some people "get it" and other people don't? That seems as arbitrary and unjust as a God who requires us to follow a set of rules that we're doomed to fall short of, or an insistence that one believe a certain set of things, or even a very rigorous moral ethic (again with the doom and falling short). I get a very strong sense from some people that they want to believe, but skepticism or upbringing or terrible experiences with religious folks and the things they do get in the way. I am quite certain that such people make excellent fellow-travelers on the journey with people who are more certain or less afraid of faith. But it seems a little unfair.

"Let anyone without sin cast the first stone"

2009-03-09T22:22:00.003-04:00

I read this chilling article in the Washington Post today-- there's a very good reflection and summary here. The issue at hand is accidentally leaving children in cars... and how the parents who have done this don't fit any particular kind of profile, just a common pattern of stress, tiredness, and some interruption in the regular schedule of the day that fools the memory into thinking they have already dropped the kid off at daycare.

One thing that struck me when I read the salon.com commentary was remembering the first time I heard of such an incident (because you do hear of them, maybe once every couple years) after my daughter was born. She wasn't very old, and I was still very sleep-deprived all the time, and I just thought "wow, that could happen so easily."

The spiritual issue I see in all this is that so many people, some of those interviewed for the original article, and still more who commented online, seem very certain that they could never make such a mistake. They think that it means a parent who forgets about his or her child in the backseat of a car is a terrible person. The salon.com article pulls out a quote from a psychologist about why people feel the need to demonize others like this:

We want to believe that the world is understandable and controllable and unthreatening, that if we follow the rules, we'll be okay. So, when this kind of thing happens to other people, we need to put them in a different category from us. We don't want to resemble them, and the fact that we might is too terrifying to deal with. So, they have to be monsters.

For me, I guess the central spiritual question is about compassion. I have no trouble feeling compassion for parents who accidentally leave their children in the backseat of a car. But I do wonder what "sort of people" I categorize as "monsters" because it makes me feel better about myself.

The Bible was made for hypertext!

2009-03-03T10:58:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking for quite some time that, although the codex was a very important development for the Bible, its true perfect technology match is hypertext. So much of the meaning in individual bits of text has to do with the other passages to which they are referring. And since, let's face it, most people these days (and really, throughout the broad sweep of history, most people in most times) are not that familiar with the Biblical text, they are missing a lot when they just pick up and start reading at a particular place.

This cool link demonstrates graphically how many cross-references there are within the books of the Bible. Which is why I think hypertext is so well-suited -- it allows you not just to see the reference (chapter and verse) as a footnote, which is in a lot of editions of the Bible, but also to actually read the passage being referred to.

Sin, take 2

2009-03-02T23:28:00.000-05:00

I recently read this passage from Roberta Bondi's book on the Lord's Prayer.

Even when I was a small child, holy beauty filled me with a longing to be worthy of it, not in order to please others but because I loved it. Now, my friend, notice that I don't say I felt an obligation to be good or a fear that I would be punished in some cosmic way if I weren't. What I did believe, however, was that if I was mean to my brothers, resentful of my parents, judgmental or without compassion toward my classmates (all of which I frequently was), I might lose my capacity to see it. To put it simply, I loved it and I wanted it, and I was convinced, like the ancient Christian and non-Christian Platonists before me, that "like is only known by like," that if I refused to share its qualities, I could well be left without it. (Roberta Bondi, from A Place to Pray, p. 42)

For me, this gets at our intuitive sense of what sin is -- how it separates us from God, others, all that is Good in the universe. It is about so much more than breaking rules (I think this is most people's dominant sense of what it means to sin) and fearing punishment. Rather, it's how we fall short of our call to love God and others. I'm acutely aware of my own limitations in this area.

Examen

2009-02-28T21:31:00.003-05:00

I'm working on preparing for our first Lenten program tomorrow. I'm reading up on the history of Lent, which is really interesting. We will cover some of the highlights briefly tomorrow, but the focus of our series is going to be on what Lent can be for us this year, an opportunity to try some very ancient forms of prayer and spiritual growth that may be new to a lot of folks.

One of the things we'll start out with this week is the Ignatian Examen, a deceptively simple approach to spiritual self-examination that was an integral part of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius Loyola, founder of the Society of Jesus (bka Jesuits). This approach has, I think, been integral to the lives of Jesuit institutions ever since, and Protestants have been fortunate to rediscover it (along with some other forms of Christian spirituality) in recent years. A lot of the folks that I have heard talk about it in Protestant circles are doing youth ministry.

Let me explain. The idea is that God is always speaking to you through your life. So, to do the examen, you look back over your life for the last day, or week, or several hours. for the "consolations" and "desolations," and, especially over time, learn from these high and low points about the ways God is working in your daily life. It was fun for me to realize in retrospect that this is why my friend who had been an RA at a Jesuit university always had her girls share "highs and lows" when they had hall meetings. And I'm pretty sure it's why a friend's youth group shared "blessings and bummers" every time they met. The third step, after recalling the high and the low, is to try to identify how God has been speaking in this day. I think sometimes this really only emerges over time, and it may or may not be directly related to the high and the low.

My bummer/ low/ desolation of the day has definitely been the sort of panic that crops up all too often for me on a Saturday. It's often true that I say "yes" to too many things, and have more to do for work in a week than I can get done in the time I have, and that's a problem. But what compounds that problem is something I really struggle with -- spending as much time and energy worrying about all the stuff I have to do as it would take to just do it.

The blessing/ high/ consolation was dinner with family at a new restaurant in our neighborhood. It's exciting on several levels, because not only is it the third restaurant in the neighborhood (and the other two are in an intense competition to see who can provide the worst possible service), but it also has really quite a nice vegetarian selection, which can't be taken for granted at a place with "bar and grill" in the title.

God has definitely been speaking to me today, as S/he often does, through the words of Roberta Bondi. I'm reading her book A Place to Pray: Reflections on the Lord's Prayer, and I expect I'll be blogging about excerpts more specifically in the coming days. But I was touched today by her account of experiencing God's holiness in her life, long before she ever had the theological language to call it that. It, along with the prep for this Lenten program, comes as yet another reminder to wake up to God's presence in my own life.

Sin?

2009-02-27T23:08:00.003-05:00

So, I found out today that you can download some songs for free from the Franciscan Sisters of Charity. They selected songs that they feel have a "discerning spiritual message," and I have to say, their taste in both style and content runs pretty closely to mine.

I feel like very often, secular songs express spiritual concepts better than even a good sermon (or blog post). I am struck today by the way that so many many songs capture the sense of alienation (from God, others, the world) that I think everyone feels sometimes... one of the "spiritually discerning songs" is "The Maker," by Daniel Lanois.

What the song captures so well is what it's like to know yourself alienated from God and the Way Things Should Be. In classical Christian language, a sinner. "I'm a stranger in the eyes of the maker." And in this state of estrangement, Lanois writes, "I could not see for the fog in my eyes. I could not feel for the fear in my life."

I often have trouble making sense of sin in a personal way. I get it at a societal level much more easily. But this song helps me remember, better than any sermon, the hundred little ways it's easy to give in to fear that cuts off my feelings for others, the things that separate me from God and others and make it harder to see things as they truly are. So maybe we do need this season of repentance after all...

Observing Lent

2009-02-26T23:14:00.002-05:00

We just got back from a fundraiser happy hour for Loaves and Fishes, a meal program for homeless people that my cousin's girlfriend is very involved with at her church. She mentioned that her priest had encouraged people to attend in the service on Sunday, encouraging it as a first act of charity for the season of Lent.

It was funny, because going to a happy hour where the bar is donating part of the proceeds to charity is really far from more traditional penitential, ascetic type observances (fasting, giving up chocolate, etc). It also, as charity goes, didn't feel burdensome. I do think (perhaps it's obvious?) that a very wide range of things fall into the category of valid and meaningful ways to observe Lent.

But I'm thinking about two questions: in the spiritual aspect of service, is what you give up to do something good as significant as the impact of the good you do? And, there are so many potential partnerships like this where everyone (the bar, the organization, the people who came to Happy Hour) walks away feeling good about themselves... how can we make them happen more often?

Meditations on Mortality

2009-02-25T13:03:00.003-05:00

Well, Lent begins again today, and with it my discipline of blogging as an attempt to focus my mind and heart on the spiritual in the everyday.

Today is Ash Wednesday, and in our service this evening, I (along with the other pastor at my church) will place ashes on people's foreheads in the shape of a cross, admonishing them to "remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return."

I feel like my life in the past year has been too full of reminders that all life returns to ashes and dust. We mortals are so fragile, and the difference between life and death is so often a breath, a step in the wrong direction, away. Three young women, either loved by me or by those I care about, have died suddenly and far too young. Two of them were struck by cars while crossing a street.

I've also marveled at the other end of life, how new life comes into being, especially over the past 15 months, watching my little baby and being amazed that such a tiny thing can be fully alive.

Life is amazing. Life is fragile. That's the deal. For me, this is a big part of the answer to one of the Big Questions of Lent (and, I suppose, Christianity) -- Why did Jesus die? Jesus died because he was human. We all die. It's the price of this precious life.

Last Day!

2008-03-22T23:20:00.002-04:00

As my brother pointed out this morning, the appropriate emotion for today in Holy Week is perplexity (or aporia) -- being at a loss. Remembering how bewildered and lost the disciples must have felt after Jesus died.

We had a very beautiful Easter Vigil service this evening; a first for our congregation that grew out of our Sunday evening Vespers, newly begun this fall. Vespers was on Saturday instead of Sunday this week, and we drew on a traditional Vigil liturgy, but it still had much of the feel of our Vespers service. About midway through the service, the light was brought into the church; all the lights were turned up and candles lighted, and we moved from sorrow into joy.

Happy Easter!

PS - Since this is the end of Lent, it also marks the end of my Lenten blogging -- for this year, at least. Perhaps I will pick it up again next Ash Wednesday. It has been a very useful discipline, and I think it has made sermon writing a little easier, either because I'm just writing more or because focusing on "the spiritual aspects of life" daily and developing certain ideas a bit means I have a head start on potential items for sermons. Meanwhile, I'll probably do better about posting to my other blog.

Thanks for reading!

Good Friday

2008-03-21T23:55:00.001-04:00

I love Good Friday. I'm a bit sad that I didn't make it to church this year, but the day was too full of caring for baby, etc. One of my favorite college professors said that Good Friday takes seriously the terrible cost in this world for justice to be achieved.

Perhaps by way of observance, Tim and I went over to see The Big Sellout at our friends' apartment. It's a great film about the terrible effects of corporate globalization and privatization on people's lives -- AND the ways those people are fighting back. From a mother trying to get medicine and dialysis treatment for her son in the Philippines, to the Soweto Electricity Crisis Committee reconnecting people's power when the company shuts it off, to a union leader train driver in England, to the popular uprising over privatization of water (by Bechtel, no less) in Cochabamba, Bolivia, they were stories that were inspiring as well as troubling.

Maundy Thursday

2008-03-20T10:43:00.002-04:00

I've been trying to keep my heart in tune with Holy Week, with mixed success. It's hard to know how to feel on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. So I'm excited that we are finally here at Maundy Thursday, remembering the last meal Jesus shared with his disciples, the way he washed their feet and gave them a new commandment: to love one another as he had loved them.

Maundy Thursday is named for that new commandment (mandatum in Latin, mande/ in French), and the more I think about it, the harder it seems to do. It seems to require even more than "Love your neighbor as yourself." Because I think Jesus was better at loving people than most (all?) of us are at loving ourselves.

Last year was my first Holy Week at Cleveland Park Church, and one of my favorite parts (I have lots of favorites...) was the service that we will have again tonight, which begins with communion and then goes into Tenebrae, the service of shadows that remember the events around Jesus' arrest, and end with "then they led him away to crucify him." The service ends in silence, and it is a powerful lead-in to Good Friday.

The tongue (and ear) of a teacher

2008-03-19T22:35:00.000-04:00

I was reading today's lectionary readings, trolling for inspiration, and I was struck by the first verse of the first reading: "The Lord GOD has given me the tongue of a teacher, that I may know how to sustain the weary with a word. Morning by morning he wakens-- wakens my ear to listen as those who are taught. (Isaiah 50:4)"

It seems to me that having your ear awakened to "listen as those who are taught" is an amazing gift for teachers or preachers, or anyone who hopes that people will listen to them... and I think the best teachers and preachers possess this gift. I think it's the challenge for me and the other people involved in teaching Sunday School to kids; how do we put on the "ears" of elementary school students (1st grade is very different than 5th grade, and the individuals vary greatly as well)?

Knowing, or imagining, how someone will hear your words is an important step in deciding what to say -- it's also a way of being gracious.

compassion and solidarity

2008-03-18T23:55:00.000-04:00

Back at the beginning of Lent, I thought I should write about my take on Christian ethics. So, briefly, here goes:

It seems to me that at the heart of thinking about what we should do, are two core values: compassion and solidarity.

Compassion is a sort of prerequisite for the Golden Rule (do unto others as you would have them do unto you); you have to imagine yourself in someone else's situation before you can imagine what you would want if you were in their situation. That's part of loving your neighbor as yourself, and compassion is certainly something that Jesus modeled in life (and perhaps even in death).

Solidarity is another piece of loving the neighbor as the self. Compassion could stop short of action (although I do think that often it does compel us to action). But solidarity requires us to act in the best interests of the other... and, I think, to let them define what that means. Of course, "compassion fatigue" (I think people were talking about this after Katrina) is a problem. We have too much information connected to too small a sense of agency, and the world's problems sure do get overwhelming. I think "solidarity fatigue" might be a problem as well.

Dr. Wright

2008-03-17T23:34:00.004-04:00

With all the flack Obama has been getting about his association with the Rev. Dr. Jeremiah Wright, it's about time someone presented an image of him as something other than the mirror-image of a white supremacist. Finally, the Post has an article about how the members of Trinity UCC view their pastor (who recently retired) *very* differently than the media soundbites have portrayed him. Not that I would expect Black liberation theology to play well in a U.S. presidential election.

Donkeys

2008-03-15T19:20:00.002-04:00

As I've been working on my sermon for tomorrow, I recalled that last year for Palm Sunday, I chose my title, "A Royal Entrance (Riding on a Donkey)" before I started my in-depth work with the text. I really had read through it already (I swear!), but because the story is so familiar, the details from the different accounts meld together in my perception, I failed to notice that in the story in Luke, which I was preaching on, Jesus rides "a colt," not a donkey.

This year, the text is from Matthew, where it does specify that Jesus rides a donkey, but actually goes further to specify that he rode a donkey *and* its colt, which is Matthew going out of his way to make clear that Jesus' entrance fulfills the prophecy in Zechariah about the restoration of Jerusalem by a ruler who brings peace to the nations.

I haven't figured out a way to work this into my sermon, but all this thinking about donkeys reminded me of a very nice scene about acceptance from Shrek, which is burned into my brain because Grace (my now 3 year old niece) was obsessed with Shrek when we lived with her, and at one point the DVD malfunctioned and would replay this one scene over and over... where Shrek (the ogre) is trying to get rid of Donkey, who really wants to be his friend. And it becomes clear that Shrek assumes he can't have friends because he's an ogre, and everyone hates and fears ogres, but Donkey for some reason doesn't know he's supposed to hate and fear ogres... and it's a beautiful moment, although I appreciate it much more now that it's been over 6 months since the time I had to watch it over and over and over trying to fix the DVD.

Spring (again)

2008-03-13T23:02:00.002-04:00

I know I posted a while ago about how perfect it is that Easter comes in springtime... but I was struck again today by how much my spirits are lifted by the warmer, sunnier weather. It's so easy for me to spend lots of time indoors and never get outside. I think being indoors (or in a car) too much disconnects us, not only from nature, but from an important part of ourselves.

This is a thoroughly modern problem; we have so much "inside" space (and so many forms of entertainment and channels of communication there). And I'll freely admit it doesn't quite feel so rejuvenating to be outdoors in nasty weather. But I think our connection to the earth and its seasons is essential to being human.

Embarrassed ...

2008-03-12T23:53:00.003-04:00

... by a fellow white person! This is something that happens to me from time to time. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say I was embarassed for this person.

A friend and I attended a worship service on Friday that was part of the Interfaith Peace Witness weekend. It was held at Lincoln Temple UCC, which (I learned) is the oldest African-American Congregational church in DC. It was interesting, because the congregation gathered was almost exclusively white, but the piano player/ songleader, host pastor, and guest preacher were all African-American. So, the singing was less than impressive. But that was not the embarrassing part.

When the host pastor came to the pulpit to greet the congregation, he greeted us by saying "God is good," to which a few people scattered throughout (me being one of them) responded "All the time!" And then, he said "All the time..." to which a slightly larger number of people responded "God is good!" At the passing of the peace, the white person seated in front of me, who was wearing a clerical collar, asked "Do you go to this church?" I responded "No," and decided to leave it at that, but I probably looked puzzled, because this person then said, "because you seemed to know that litany the pastor was saying at the beginning." I was too shocked to take the time to educate that person about the prevalence of this greeting in Black churches.

Not that I have any reason to expect everyone to know that... it was just very odd that this person assumed it was a local tradition.

Palms or Passion?

2008-03-11T23:14:00.004-04:00

As I'm beginning to think about my sermon for Sunday, I am confronted again this year with the liturgical tension between Palm Sunday and Passion Sunday (two options, if you will, for the sixth Sunday of Lent).

My mother told me several years ago that she felt that Palm Sunday had been getting short shrift of late in churches, perhaps in her congregation in particular, begin edged out by Passion Sunday. They create very different feelings -- either the jubilation of Palm Sunday, shouting Hosanna, or the somber, sorrowful tone of the Passion. My mom said she figured preachers were trying to make sure the congregation experienced the passion story, and found that most people weren't coming to church during the week for Maundy Thursday and Good Friday.

I'm pretty sure my mother thought that people should come to church during Holy Week. You can't really "get" Easter without going through Good Friday. I love going through Holy Week, but I also know that not everyone is going to come to our Tenebrae service Thursday evening -- even though it's powerful and moving, many people just don't have the time. So, my dilemma is, how do we experience both in the course of one worship service, without doing disservice to either? Is that an impossible task?

The Root of All Evil...

2008-03-10T21:17:00.002-04:00

... according to Scripture, anyway, is the love of money. That's the verse that came to my head as I was reading this article in the Washington Post. I think it's Thomas Aquinas who talks about sin coming from loving other things more than God. It's not that loving money, or making money, is a bad thing -- it's that when it is valued so highly that you don't care about people having a place to live, that you get situations like this one.

Christ for President

2008-03-08T22:16:00.003-05:00

The Washington Post's On Faith asked its panelists this week:

"If the historical Jesus were running for president, what kind of candidate would he be? Republican or Democrat? For or against the death penalty, the Iraq war, abortion, etc.?"

All of them, from Welton Gaddy (director of the Interfaith Alliance) to Deepak Chopra to Chuck Colson to Susan Thistlethwaite Brooks (feminist theologian) to Gardner C. Taylor to Thomas Bohlin (U.S. vicar of Opus Dei), said that wasn't a very good question. Most of the respondents couldn't imagine Jesus winning the nomination for either party. There are some predictable responses (paraphrasing Chuck Colson: "of course he would be against abortion"), and some provocative ones (Gardner C. Taylor: "I think He would also be assassinated, lynched, or if you prefer, crucified as before." Deepak Chopra's take is actually pretty funny.

So, if these "experts" all agree that Jesus would never be a candidate, and would have a platform very different from either party... am I wrong in thinking that there is a strong perception "out there" that Christian=conservative=Republican? I think that's why my friend's bumper sticker that says "Christian AND a Democrat" means something... but, the religious right worked hard to create this perception, and a lot of people (religious progressives, and, I think, others) have been working hard to demonstrate a more complicated relationship between religion and politics in the U.S. So, maybe that's having some effect.

The title of this post is the title of a Woody Guthrie song that Billy Brag & Wilco put to music on one of their Mermaid Avenue CDs. He had a pretty clear idea of what he thought Jesus' platform would be:

Let's have Christ for President.
Let us have him for our King.
Cast your vote for the Carpenter
that you call the Nazarene.

The only way we can ever beat
these crooked politician men
Is to run the money changers out of the temple
And put the Carpenter in

O It's Jesus Christ for president
God above our king
With a job and a pension for young and old
We will make hallelujah ring

Every year we waste enough
to feed the ones who starve
We build our civilization up
and we shoot it down with wars

But with the Carpenter on the seat
away up in the capital town
The USA would be on the way prosperity bound!

Cloud of Witnesses

2008-03-07T23:44:00.003-05:00

I went to a dinner tonight to honor the moderator of our congregation from the past year, and welcome the new moderator to the position. The guests, other than the pastors and their spouses, were all former moderators (and spouses, although in at least one couple, both had been moderator).

It was great to hear stories of the history of the church, which went through some tough times over the decades. As stories were told, I felt that the cloud of witnesses grew beyond just those gathered there, to include people remembered fondly by many, some of whom have moved away, others who have passed on.

I was reminded of Hebrews 12:1, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely,* and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us." This remarkable gathering of faithful leaders throughout the congregation's past gives encouragement to the current leadership, both pastoral and lay, to move forward into the future God has in store for our congregation.

Priorities

2008-03-06T23:22:00.002-05:00

So, I'm getting started on writing this post really late tonight. The reason is that Quinn is having trouble settling down to sleep this evening. One of the things that is sometimes frustrating, but at other times freeing, about taking care of a baby, is the immediacy of her needs. When she's crying, there's no question about which of the competing demands on my time I will be attending to. As someone recently put it, "If Baby ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

So, she interrupts my life (our lives) a lot. But it's also a good reminder, because less important things can take up more time or attention simply by clamoring for it, or making it to the top of my to-do list. But the baby's needs are real and basic and must be met.

Attending to the spirit is also a real and basic need, but it's not nearly as loud (usually, anyway) as Quinn! That's why, I think, it's so much easier to focus spiritually in some kind of a setting (an intentional time or place or group of people) set aside for that purpose, with many of the competing demands cleared away. I cherish my retreats with the Bethany Fellows for that reason.

Also, however, at the same time that attending to my spirit might be considered another "task" or item on a to-do list that caring for Quinn takes time and energy from, and I certainly feel that the near-constant sleep deprivation makes both thinking and connecting more difficult, I also feel that caring for, feeding, comforting, cuddling, loving this little person, is feeding my spirit.

Parity in Insurance Coverage

2008-03-05T22:48:00.002-05:00

The House passed a bill today requiring parity in coverage of mental health from insurance companies. It's one important step towards making our society more compassionate towards people with mental illness. Legislatively, it requires (some) insurance company to cover mental illness as they cover all other illnesses. This could be good news for a lot of people.

The church has an unfortunate history with mentally ill people, and I think that people of faith still struggle with how to love our neighbors with mental illness (and ourselves with mental illness). Even more difficult is knowing how a faith community can be supportive, both in working to overcome the stigma around mental illnesses, and in being supportive of those who live with them.

Timing

2008-03-04T21:02:00.002-05:00

The past two days of warm weather in DC seem to have lifted everyone's spirits. It strikes me that it is so appropriate for Easter to be in springtime. The chorus from the Easter hymn "Now the Green Blade Riseth" is running through my head: "Love has come again/ like wheat that springeth green."

Renewal and hope are in the air at springtime. I've been told that the original reason for Easter's timing was competition with a "pagan" fertility festival (that's why the bunnies and eggs), and that festival is in fact the origin of the name of the holiday, but the timing seems appropriate to me. It's also linked historically to Passover, when the gospels record Jesus' death and resurrection taking place.

The most unfortunate timing, on the other hand, is for folks who abstain from dessert for Lent, which always overlaps Girl Scout cookie time!

It's official

2008-03-03T23:06:00.002-05:00

Today I went down to the D.C. courthouse and got officially registered to be able to perform weddings in the District of Columbia. To do this, I had to affirm that I hold appropriate standing in a church body (in this case, the UCC), and be vouched for by another person with standing in that church body who was already officially registered in their database (Pastor Ken).

It's interesting to me how the rules about who may perform a wedding vary in different jurisdictions. In both Maryland and Chicago (where I've done 2 weddings each), you just list on the marriage license the church body in which you are ordained or hold standing. Same goes for Iowa. I look forward to learning the rules for Las Vegas and Berkeley, as I've recently been asked to do two weddings this summer.

All of these variations highlight what is for me the spiritual matter in the heart of the bureaucratic details. Church and state are at their least separated in marriage. As a minister performing a wedding, I am an official agent of the state (or district!) at the same time as I am a leader of worship. It's actually rather odd.

Should the church bless the action of the state in changing the legal status of two people? I'm not sure what my answer to that question is.

But I love doing weddings, getting to be a part of a couple's life at this pivotal moment of commitment, sharing and blessing their hopes and dreams of their common future. I enjoy the fact that people who don't go to church regularly very often want to get married in a church. It feels right to me, because I think that deeply human connection that leads people to want to get married is essentially spiritual. After all, God is love.

Social Justice in the School Cafeteria

2008-03-01T18:39:00.002-05:00

Today's reflection will be brief; I'm taking a short break from working out my sermon for tomorrow.

But this article in the New York Times is an interesting and challenging snapshot of the struggle kids have to fit in when their families are struggling to make it.

In general, I think those a la carte foods tend to be pretty bad nutritionally, and the problem is only compounded by the way they serve as a marker of social status as well. Although, my memories of school lunches are that they were neither terribly appealing nor impressively good for you. Still, they do have some sort of nutritional standards, and the idea that there is such a stigma to free lunch that kids would rather go hungry, is disturbing.

Prayer and God's Silence

2008-02-29T23:00:00.003-05:00

I read a great column in Sojourners today, by Rose Marie Berger, on the experience of God's absence or silence. She writes:

"The early Christians described this experience of God’s absence or silence as the via negativa... one “relates” to God as the Vast Emptiness, the Dark Night, the Endless Expanse, the “Absent One,” as Mother Teresa put it. There is no language to build a bridge of human relationship with this aspect of the Divine. Astronaut Buzz Aldrin, at the time a Presbyterian church elder, came close when he looked from the moon at the Earth suspended in infinite darkness: “Magnificent desolation,” he uttered."

It reminds me a bit of the text I'm working on for Sunday's sermon -- not too surprising; a lot of things seem to connect when I'm mulling something over. Isaiah 55:8-9, describes God's distance from us in this way:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

There is so much about God that we can't grasp. In the context of the passage in Isaiah, this great height, this distance from God, is a promise of God's mercy. Because God is so different from us, God is so much better at showing mercy than we would be. It also seems to me that there is a freedom in realizing that we are not God, and hope in shifting the focus from our thoughts and ways to God's.

Religious Landscape Survey

2008-02-28T23:31:00.002-05:00

The Pew Forum released a big report on Monday based on a survey they did of the religious landscape in the U.S. Interesting facts that stood out to me:

About 10% of U.S. adults are ex-Catholics, whether they have moved to other traditions or the "unaffiliated" group. Catholics who leave the church, however, are replaced, in part by converts (2.6%), but even more so by immigrants, who are, as a group, more likely to be Catholic than the overall U.S. population.

The unaffiliated group is 16.1% of the adult population; twice the number (8%) who say they were unaffiliated as children. Still more fascinating is that half of those who were raised as unaffiliated are now affiliated (that's 4% of the population). So 3/4 of those who are unaffiliated have left some religious tradition. AND, not too surprising, 25% of those age 18-29 say that they are not affiliated with any particular religious tradition. This makes a lot of sense to me, given that I always feel like the people I know are, numerically, less religious than the statistics I've seen.

I do wonder, if this study were done longitudinally, if 18-29 year olds would always be less religiously affiliated than other age groups. It seems to me, anecdotally, that a lot of people return to church after a decade or so of absence when they have kids.

I find all kinds of demographic profiles interesting... but the incredible religious diversity in the U.S. is one of my favorite things about this country.

Fueling Up

2008-02-27T23:19:00.002-05:00

Quinn had a difficult evening, so this post might go up a bit past the midnight deadline... such is life with a baby. I still don't feel like we figured out what was making her so sad; it could be that she was just tired.

But, as she was calming down and we were cuddling, and I was thinking "what can I possibly post about tonight? I am so tired..." I had a glimmer of a thought. I feel like clergy types talk a lot about taking care of ourselves, and are notoriously bad at it. It seems to me that inspiration and encouragement, which as a pastor, I want to give people professionally, and as a person, I would like to give people, well, personally, are things that you need input in order to produce output.

I'm preaching this Sunday for the first time since before Quinn's birth... which means that it has been a long time, but also that it's hard to find the right kind of energy to craft a sermon (the time is also an issue). And yet, I feel so fortunate that I have a lot of sources of inspiration and encouragement in my life. Just in the last two days, two different people have shared stories with me that really bore witness to God's working (in ways big and small) in their lives. I have many other pastors I can connect with talk to, and count on to pray for me. And, I really do find inspiration in our baby in brief and magical glimpses.

So, if you have to fuel up on inspiration in order to produce it, I would say I'm well-supplied. And that's good news for everyone who has to hear me preach on Sunday! :)

Religiosity

2008-02-26T22:37:00.009-05:00

I participated in an online study today that measures how religious Christians are in six different dimensions, described as follows:

"The authors of the Inclusive Christian Scale have found over the course of previous research studies that religiosity could be thought of in terms of the following six dimensions: evangelical, Christian conservative, activist, golden rule, community involvment, and mystic.
The Evangelical dimension refers to a particular focus on prayer, evangelism or outreach, and faith as a source of strength.
The Christian Conservative dimension reflects a particular focus on avoiding acts seen as sinful, on a literal interpretation of the Bible, and on a transforming spiritual experience.
The Activist dimension refers to a focus on changing unjust structures in the world as a part of one’s practice of faith.
The Golden Rule dimension refers to a particular focus on attempting to live so that one treats others as one would wish to be treated. This dimension highlights a concern about many of the same issues found on the Activist dimension, but the focus is more on individuals and less on social structures.
The Community Involvement dimension underlines a particular focus on active participation in the church as a fellowship of faith.
The Mystic dimension reflects a particular focus on an intimate, pervasive relationship/connection to God."

My scores were:

EVANGELICAL: 72 %
CHRISTIAN CONSERVATIVE: 13 %
ACTIVIST: 69 %
GOLDEN RULE: 89 %
COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT: 95 %
MYSTIC: 75 %

I was unsurprised at the low marks for "Christian conservative," but a bit taken aback to see that I scored higher for evangelical than for activist. I do know that, both as a pastor and as a person of faith, I set a lot of store in the faith communities I am and have been a part of, so that super-high mark for community seems accurate. I aspire to be somewhat of a mystic, so I'm sort of proud of that score.

What kind of Christian (or not) are you? I'd be really interested for other folks to take the instrument and post your percentages as a comment; I also wonder if it applies to people of other faiths, or those who are "spiritual but not religious" (you know who you are ;) ).

Theology of Facebook?

2008-02-25T21:41:00.002-05:00

So, this article raises some issues that everyone who uses Facebook (which seems to be pretty much everyone) should at least be aware of. It's scary how much information you give them, and to what uses it might be put.

Nonetheless, I really like Facebook. Part of it is the faces -- I get to see people I care about (or at least am curious about and have generally positive feelings towards) who I may not have seen in person in 10 years, or who live in far-flung areas of the country. Part of it is the nice interface. It's easy to use, and feels pleasingly uncluttered. And, I'll admit, part of it is Oregon Trail.

But I wonder what a spiritual or theological critique might be... because even as I add friends and applications, I find part of myself hungry for the anti-Facebook. And I suspect it's a spiritual hunger. Sure, it's easy to check out people's photos, exchange brief notes encapsulating the last decade, and, for those friends who update their status frequently, get a real sense of what's going on in people's lives. But the more difficult connections -- actually finding time to be together, to break bread, talk, laugh, and have real conversation, is ultimately more satisfying.

I do think that, like any technology, Facebook can be used in service of spiritual life, to promote and strengthen real connections in interesting and creative ways (there's an application for intercessory prayer). But I need real friends, too.

Sad and Sobering

2008-02-23T18:51:00.002-05:00

I was sad to read this story about a young boy who was shot, presumably because he was gay. The hints as to what his short life might have been like add to the sadness; he was living at "a center for abused and neglected children in the foster care system."

The pastor mentioned comes off well; he seems to be referencing Psalm 139. It's essential, I think for a clergyperson in that situation to assert how God created and loved this boy whose life was cut short.

I wonder about the shooter. Apparently he was part of a group who bullied the young man. He's being tried as an adult, and the hate crime adds to the length of a potential sentence... what will his life be like?

Singleness of Purpose

2008-02-22T21:54:00.004-05:00

Another Quinn-inspired (Quinspired?) musing today... at 3 months old, she has made noticeable gains in her manual dexterity. Her main use of said dexterity is grabbing things and putting them in her mouth (sometimes just getting her hands in is good enough). She seemingly never gets tired of the task of grabbing onto things and bringing them to her mouth -- she has an amazing amount of focus and determination when she is doing this, and it is very clearly the sole focus of all the energies of her little brain and body.

I was reflecting today that I almost envy this singleness of purpose she has. Perhaps it's the nature of life, or my life, but I think becoming a parent has made it worse... there are so many small things to be done, that I very rarely feel a) that I am able to devote full attention to one thing for any length of time, or b) that I have a sense of Purpose in the things that I am doing.

I think that it is in part this desire for a sense of Purpose that has me re-evaluating my life as I go back to work, thinking more about how I am using my time (even though there now seems to be a lot less of it!). I've been feeling for a while like I should be doing more things that get me involved in the needs of my community (and that I want to encourage my church in that direction as well).

My purpose, vocationally and personally, if I think about it, is simple: to experience God's love and share it with other people. Perhaps that means grabbing hold of it where I see it and learning again to "taste and see that the LORD is good."

Prison, Part 2

2008-02-21T23:39:00.004-05:00

This will be brief -- I'm yet again running up to my (admittedly self-imposed) midnight deadline.

The thing about ministry to the incarcerated... well, there are a lot of things about it, but there is such an incredible need for it. Jail and prison are, perhaps on purpose, incredibly dehumanizing institutions, and it is an incredible thing to simply treat an inmate like a person.

Perhaps the most important thing my colleagues and I did as volunteer prison chaplains was to acknowledge that those men had souls. They knew it, for certain, but our presence and willingness to spend time with them in conversation and prayer affirmed it powerfully.

That's one side of it. The other side is that I believe visiting the incarcerated fills a spiritual need that we free folks, living "outside the wall," have. Because, like it or not, we are to some degree responsible for the laws and systems that cause people to go to jail or prison. They are tried and sentenced by "the state," whether one of the 50 or the federal government. And that government is supposed to be accountable to us, its citizens, and we are supposed to be the ones who are protected when people who have committed crimes are sentenced to prison.

So that means they have been incarcerated on our behalf... but most of us don't really know what life in prison is like; even going in and out as a chaplain for months, I probably don't *really* know what it's like. But it is always good for the soul, I think, to see things like this -- even when it's hard (which is most of the time). WE have to know the true cost (as my sister the economist might say) of the policies and systems "we" have put in place and allow to continue.

It's also re-humanizing of free people to connect with people who have committed crimes, because it is all too easy to dismiss the humanity of "criminals" -- and every time we write someone off, a part of us becomes less than human.

I was in prison and you visited me...

2008-02-20T23:50:00.004-05:00

This phrase, from Matthew 25:36, is the motto for Kairos Prison Ministry, an amazing program that does intensive spiritual retreats for both prisoners and their loved ones.

It's also a phrase that has haunted me for quite a few years now, ever since I was in college and started learning about the injustices and racial disparities in the judicial and penal systems in the U.S. In my first year of divinity school, I got my first taste of prison ministry, doing CPE at Stateville Correctional Center in Joliet, IL. Later, when I was still in Chicago, I volunteered for the Storybook Project with Companions Journeying Together, helping incarcerated moms tape themselves reading boks to their kids.

I hope to get involved soon in a similar project at the DC jail; I finally made contact with the volunteer coordinator at the Visitor Services Center for the DC jail, and will meet with her on Tuesday.

On a Top Ten List...

2008-02-19T21:49:00.004-05:00

... of ways you can tell the United States is not a Christian nation, I would have to include, quite near the #1 position, the statistic (referenced in this column by Paul Krugman in the New York Times) that 17.5 percent of children in this country live in poverty.

I don't actually think the U.S. *should* be a Christian nation. But, as a Christian, I do believe we should be a nation that takes care of its poor (and its sick, homeless, oppressed... those are all clear Biblical mandates). Given the number of U.S. citizens who identify as Christians, it doesn't make much sense to me that so few people seem to care that we aren't doing a better job of it.

Retreat

2008-02-18T21:55:00.002-05:00

I survived taking the confirmation class on retreat. It was nice to get away; it seems like it is always easier for me to see glimpses of God at work in such a context. I've had much more experience as a participant in these kinds of things, and it's not the same sort of spiritual high from the other side (or at least, wasn't for me this time).

But all the same, I saw God: when the sulky kid finally smiled, about an hour after we got there, when the stressed-out kid said that he chose the word "peace" to focus on in our centering prayer, in the couple who not only opened their beautiful house to us, but also took the time to share their stories of faith with our group, and in the struggle for each of the kids to begin to find the words to share their own stories of faith.

Overwhelmed...

2008-02-16T14:47:00.003-05:00

So, I'm feeling very overwhelmed this week and weekend. I have had a ton of work to do coming back from maternity leave and jumping right back in to the middle of things at church; I'm taking the confirmation class on a retreat tomorrow and Monday that I still haven't finished planning, and Tim has been out of town since Wednesday... I am so far beyond being stressed, I'm not even sure what this state is. It's a bit like finals week in school, where every waking moment is spoken for, and I'm still not sure I'll get everything done.

I think this is what people mean when they say God brought them through a certain time. Because I know that if I'm still standing on Monday evening, that's why. I've been so grateful for the small (and large) graces I've received this week. Logistics for the retreat went from looking like a huge mess to falling smoothly into place in the space of a couple hours on Monday; I got to go home early on Wednesday instead of babysitting; and on the days when I have needed to be able to get things done, Quinn has taken nice long naps. She's taking one right now, in fact.

Isn't she an angel? The rest of my family has been very helpful as well, from holding the baby to watching her to finding other small ways to be supportive; I'm so glad to be living with my sister and brother and sister-in-law.

Even though I'm not convinced that God intervenes at such a micro-level in daily living, I am certainly feeling grateful to the universe.

Belief vs. Faith

2008-02-15T23:14:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure if this is a true dichotomy, but I was struck yet again today, as I was working on planning the program for the confirmation retreat I'll be leading this weekend, that when I think about faith, and what I experience as faith, is so much more than "believing in" any particular set of propositions. Being a theology nerd, I do find claims about God and humanity's relationship to God both interesting and compelling. But, as one of the books I was reading today puts it, there's a big difference between believing that God exists and knowing God.

In both the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), the church in which I am ordained, and the United Church of Christ, the church where I currently serve as a pastor, members are not bound by creeds. There's no set of beliefs you have to sign on to in order to belong. But still, I feel like people (myself included, at times) too easily revert to an understanding of faith as holding certain convictions, or knowing a lot of facts about the Bible... it can seem like all head and no heart.

So what is faith then, if it's not "I believe X about Y" ? Not accepting intellectually that The Story is True, but rather living as if The Story were True, and in the process finding our own stories make more sense. Faith is commitment to a relationship with God, to spending time with God, through worship, service, prayer and fellowship. Faith is opening not just your mind but your heart to the possibility of being loved unconditionally.

Valentine

2008-02-14T23:10:00.005-05:00

I've never been very excited about Valentine's Day; how we got from a day that honored the martyrdom of a saint to a day that every fancy restaurant in town is full is unclear to me. http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

Wikipedia (such a useful source!) has some of the history. I used to aspire to making Valentines with a cutesy cartoon version of St. Valentine having his head removed (I'm not actually sure if that was the method of his execution, or if we know what was).

I do like some things about Valentine's Day: well, the chocolate. Even that, I have some reservations about; not only am I trying to stick to fair trade chocolate these days, but I am also amazed at the way there always seems to be "special occasion" candy in drugstores and grocery stores. They go straight from Halloween to Christmas, and before the half-price chocolate Santas are gone, it's on to Valentine's Day, and then Easter. I suppose there's some sort of candy vacation between Easter and Halloween.

I also like the "give a Valentine to everyone in the class" model from my elementary school years; some people feel free to show love to friends and family.

What I think is most problematic about Valentine's Day (even on the years when I don't give up chocolate for Lent ;)), is how it is probably the most extreme example of how our culture first valorizes romantic love, privileging it over other relationships, and then commodifies it; you show appreciation for your beloved by purchasing flowers, chocolate, or jewelry (diamonds, of course, are best). All of which leaves single people feeling especially lonely. (Although anyone can enjoy chocolate!)

As Christians, we're always supposed to be trying to love more; asking ourselves how do we love God with heart and soul and mind and strength, and how can we love our neighbors as ourselves?

Lenten Discipline

2008-02-13T23:23:00.003-05:00

Maybe it's a bit early to reflect on this practice of blogging for Lent -- 40 days is a long time, and it's only been a week, but I'm pretty impressed that I've actually managed to post every day. Anyone who's been paying attention to the time on my posts will notice that most, like this one, have been in the final hour of the day. I suppose that's not too different from the final hour of Saturday night when I often finish sermons. (And yes, sometimes it does go into the wee hours of Sunday... I have a strong tendency to procrastinate...)

Thomas Edison is credited with the saying that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. I think both the creative process and the spiritual life are in similar percentages... you put in the time, whether in writing or in prayer, and the moments come. This blog is my way of putting in the time, both in focusing on the Spirit and in writing about doing so, and I'm enjoying the feeling of "sweating," much like I enjoy physical labor on those rare occasions I engage in it.

I also like the way that I'm more attuned, at least some of the time, to the moments of grace in my everyday living, because they could give me a topic to write about that day.

Manga Jesus

2008-02-12T20:18:00.000-05:00

I was really intrigued by this article from the New York Times, about a graphic novel that presents the Bible in the style of a Japanese comic book.

A confession: in my first glance at the article, I assumed the author (Ajinbayo Akinsiku) was Japanese. It turns out he's actually Nigerian.

This is definitely a version of the Bible I want to have, although my New Year's Resolution to buy nothing new
means that I'll be waiting to get a used copy. Although, I may need to order copies for my confirmation class. ;)

The combination of Jesus as a "samurai stranger" with an emphasis on justice for the poor certainly seems intriguing. I think (although I'm no expert) that there is some "precedent" (if you can properly call it that) of Christ-like figures in manga.

I'm not sure if my Jesus would make a very good comic book hero...

Imperfection and Beauty

2008-02-11T23:28:00.000-05:00

So, the song that's been running through my head today is the chorus from Anthem, by Leonard Cohen. Tim and the Vespers Music crew played four Leonard Cohen songs in the morning worship service on Sunday. They did an amazing job; I was really moved by the music. It was also my first Sunday back from maternity leave.

Here's the chorus (which, interestingly enough, Tim knew as a quote before he had heard the song):
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
that's how the light gets in.

I feel like this expresses, much better than I could, one of the things I love about ministry and people and the Christian faith. (Music can be so much more moving than prose.) It embraces the flaws in life, and the opportunities they offer for something greater.

One of the gifts of ministry is the way people can open their lives to one another, to allow each other to see them, cracks and all, rather than working to maintain the illusion of who they are supposed to be. It's all the "cracks,: those minor imperfections, and the way they struggle with them, that make people beautiful to me.
It's only when you really let your guard down and admit... dare I say confess?... to all the stuff that makes you less than you want to be, that you can be accepted just as you are, embraced, even forgiven. I think we call that grace.

And what I love about Christian faith in particular is that we capture this truth in the incarnation of Christ -- that God would take on the messiness and flaws and limitations of human living, to be with us, to sit next to us, to let us know that it's okay. We try and try to neaten things up, spiritually and otherwise, to get things right, but again and again we realize life is just messy -- but then in rare moments of clarity, we also realize that is what makes it beautiful.

Sunday!

2008-02-10T21:54:00.000-05:00

It seems ironic to take Sunday off from writing about spiritual reflections. I am, however, taking the time to instead tend to my other blog, where I will post some more photos of Quinn!

Right and Left

2008-02-09T23:04:00.000-05:00

So, here's another thought for the day inspired by Quinn. She has, at 12 weeks old, very recently discovered her hands. All toys or other objects she might seem to be "playing with" are, for the most part, pawns in the epic struggle to get her hands into her mouth. As I was trying to rock her to sleep tonight, she seemed to be holding her pacifier in her mouth with her left fist (it was really cute), but then her right hand came flailing forward in such a way that it knocked the pacifier out of her mouth. Quite literally, her right hand did not know what her left hand was doing.

Since I'm a pastor (and a nerd when it comes to all things Biblical), of course this turned my thoughts to the passage from the gospel of Matthew, when Jesus is giving instructions on the proper attitude for religious practice. "When you give alms," he says, "do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing."

Such low-profile doing of good seems to be really rare. The people who just do good stuff, and never bring attention to it are special. I've known some people like that, mostly in congregations I've been part of. Most of us want credit for our good deeds or kindnesses, or charitable giving. It's a real challenge, that requires humility on our part (again, not something that's valued highly in our culture), to keep our good deeds secret.

It's also funny to me that I've probably heard the phrase "the right hand does not know what the left hand is doing" used most often to describe dysfunction within an organization or group.

The Spiritual Cost of Busyness

2008-02-08T23:14:00.000-05:00

Well, I almost forgot to write a blog today, since I was so busy... which made it seem like a good day to reflect on a favorite topic of mine: the spiritual cost of being too busy.

I think it's part of what the gospel of Matthew is getting at in the parable of the wedding banquet (Matthew 22:1-9). It's a weird parable, but one of the interesting details is that some of the initial guests were simply too busy to show up for the party -- one had to tend to his farm, another to his business.

The spiritual problem with being too busy is deeper than not having time for explicitly religious activities (like prayer, meditation, service, fellowship, and worship). There's an abundance to life that we can't enjoy when we exhaust ourselves in the daily grind. I worry about this becoming a problem for kids at younger and younger ages, with over-scheduled lives and not nearly enough time to just be.

It's not that all the things that fill our lives aren't good things; but I feel my soul get weary along with my mind and body when there are just too many things.

It's also hard because a lot of things about modern U.S. culture tell us that our worth is determined by the things that we do, our accomplishments. Christian faith tells a different story, in which we are valued for who we are: beloved children of God. It is good to sit and rest awhile with that awareness.

Gratitude

2008-02-07T22:59:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm only on the second day of this, and already I'm struggling to find a) time and b) inspiration to keep it going. But, here I am with almost an hour to go, and I have at least half a thought pulled together.

One of my favorite books is Cries of the Spirit, an anthology of women's spiritual poetry that I believe was put out by the Unitarian Universalist Association. I recall reading in the introduction to one of the sections, that gratitude is the most basic spiritual impulse.

I've been feeling very grateful lately, both for my lovely daughter (photo below), and for all the support we have, from family and friends both near and far.

Watching Quinn grow does remind me of two things on an almost daily basis: how amazing it is that human beings work, and how utterly dependent they are when they're new. I'm so very grateful that Quinn has been healthy and strong, that all her parts "work."

I also think I'm going to have to start re-thinking what it means to think about God as a parent. My mother said that you really understand how God is a father (her words, not mine ;) ) when you become a parent, because God loves you like you love your children, not like your parents loved you (because, of course, each of us knows the failings and imperfections in the love of our human parents). I haven't yet had the time or right kind of energy to integrate this into my theology yet, but I think that utter dependence of infants is in some sense parallel to our utter dependence on God.

Blogging for Lent

2008-02-06T14:37:00.000-05:00

Today, Ash Wednesday, marks the beginning of Lent, the 40 days leading up to Easter, which has traditionally been a time of fasting and penitence for the church.

Growing up, I often gave something up for Lent -- like television, or candy. One year, in divinity school, I gave up all refined sugar. There were times when those sacrifices made me more mindful of God -- but I would have to say that for the most part it just provided an extra incentive to do something healthy (and usually food-related).

In college, I wrote my honors thesis on sacrifice in Hebrews, one of the lesser-read New Testament epistles. The big insight I had from my research was that sacrifice in the ancient world was worship, for both Jews and "pagans" in the cultural milieu where Christianity was born. So, the point of sacrifice was to draw near to God.

My Lenten discipline this season will be to attempt to draw near to God daily, and to provide reflections on this blog that might help others to do the same. It seems to me that the point of fasting, or any spiritual discipline, is to better attune ourselves to notice the signs of God's presence in the world, and where God might be leading us.

PS -- I will also be posting here. Once I figure it out, it will work automatically... but I haven’t quite worked out the kinks yet.

Laura Jean's Lenten Reflections

Good Friday

Love and Mystery

How do people come to faith?

"Let anyone without sin cast the first stone"

The Bible was made for hypertext!

Sin, take 2

Examen

Sin?

Observing Lent

Meditations on Mortality

Last Day!

Good Friday

Maundy Thursday

The tongue (and ear) of a teacher

compassion and solidarity

Dr. Wright

Donkeys

More questions than answers

Spring (again)

Embarrassed ...

Palms or Passion?

The Root of All Evil...

Christ for President

Cloud of Witnesses

Priorities

Parity in Insurance Coverage

Timing

It's official

Social Justice in the School Cafeteria

Prayer and God's Silence

Religious Landscape Survey

Fueling Up

Religiosity

Theology of Facebook?

Sad and Sobering

Singleness of Purpose

Prison, Part 2

I was in prison and you visited me...

On a Top Ten List...

Retreat

Overwhelmed...

Belief vs. Faith

Valentine

Lenten Discipline

Manga Jesus

Imperfection and Beauty

Sunday!

Right and Left

The Spiritual Cost of Busyness

Gratitude

Blogging for Lent